So as I mentioned in my "Intro" My oldest, Delilah, is a bit of a Diva. Some would rather use words like "passionate" or "expressive" but I say lets call it what it is: DRAMA QUEEN! Her dramatic tendencies are entertaining most times (even if she's not laughing) but then there are the times that break my heart! I am a firm believer that if you say it you have to follow through, so if i'm not willing to follow through with the "take away your birthday threat" than I don't say it, because otherwise it opens my "NO" for discussion. When I say "no" I mean it. If I tell the kids they will not get anything else the rest of the night if they don't finish their dinner, I mean it.
So yesterday Delilah had dance class, we decided to go to McDonalds play place before class to get a bite to eat and let the boys run (my sis and her boys were with us too) because after class we had to high tail it back to beaver bay for kinship. So Delilah tells me what she wants, she eats the fries and then decides she would rather go play than eat her cheeseburger, and so I tell her that if she doesn't eat her burger she will not have anymore food the rest of the night. I even reminded her that we were going to kinship after dance and there was sure to be food there. She said over and over that she was not gonna even ask for more food if she didn't finish hers. Well we get to kinship, and about an hour into it she comes up after playing and says that she would like some food. NO was my reply and I reminded her of the agreement we made at McD's. She then begs, and I inform her that the only thing that is going to get her is a spanking. I retold her why she was not getting food and told her I didn't wanna hear another peep about it. She cried as expected but not too bad. Still made me feel like giving in, but I held my ground.
Show and tell.....seriously that phrase drives me nuts because she is obsessed with it. Every day she has to find something to bring to show and tell. Not that her teacher requires or expects it but because she loves to show and tell every little thing. This distracts her from getting ready in a timely matter because she has a somewhat one track mind about it. This morning she wanted to bring her tiara out of yesterdays happy meal. Her backpack was left in the van last night and I told her I would get it before she left to put her tiara in. She was so focused on putting her tiara in something that she decided that instead of getting ready she chose to find a paper grocery bag an put it in there instead. So just before her ride got here this morning as she was finishing her bowl of cereal, I ran out to the van and grabbed her backpack. While she was putting her shoes on I found the paper bag with the intention of putting the tiara in her backpack instead, only to find that the ponies I have told her repeatedly she could not bring to show and tell were in the bag with the tiara. So I dumped the bag out on her bed (tiara and all) and brought her backpack to her. She immediately looked in to see where her show and tell was and then panicked because it was not in there. I told her "remember the ponies I have told you, you could not bring to show and tell?" "Yes" she replied with a guilty half smile. I then said that because she had disobeyed me she would not be bringing anything for show and tell. I then told her to have a good day and that I loved her, she put her head down and turned to walk out, trying to hold back the tears. I could see on her face that she was really upset, and trying hard not to show it (or her ride may see it!) she walked away slowly and by the time she got to the car she was crying, not a full blown wail, but a cry none the less. It broke my heart :( even reliving it now, makes me sad. I hate to see her hurting, even if it is as a result of being disciplined, which is necessary. Makes me feel like the meanest mom in the world. It reminds me of an essay that my mom gave me, when I was a teenager. It was called I have the meanest mother in the world. I rejected it then partly because of lack of understanding, but also because although my mom thinks she was that mom, she was not. Maybe when we were young but being a single mom, work always came before us, and we (whether she admits it or not) did not have much for rules or structure as there was knowone home to enforce it. I know she did what she could, I only wish she would quit living in a fairytale where even though she worked 18 or more hrs out of 24 she was still the "mean mom" this essay describes. Reality is ok, I understand she had to work to support us, since she was doing it alone....ok enough of my mommy issues.
I had the meanest mother in the whole world. While other kids ate candy for breakfast, I had to have cereal, eggs or toast. When others had cokes and candy for lunch, I had to eat a sandwich. As you can guess, my supper was different than the other kids' also.
But at least, I wasn't alone in my sufferings. My sister and two brothers had the same mean mother as I did.
My mother insisted upon knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were on a chain gang. She had to know who our friends were and where we were going. She insisted if we said we'd be gone an hour, that we be gone one hour or less--not one hour and one minute. I am nearly ashamed to admit it, but she actually struck us. Not once, but each time we had a mind of our own and did as we pleased. That poor belt was used more on our seats than it was to hold up Daddy's pants. Can you imagine someone actually hitting a child just because he disobeyed? Now you can begin to see how mean she really was.
We had to wear clean clothes and take a bath. The other kids always wore their clothes for days. We reached the height of insults because she made our clothes herself, just to save money. Why, oh why, did we have to have a mother who made us feel different from our friends?
The worst is yet to come. We had to be in bed by nine each night and up at eight the next morning. We couldn't sleep till noon like our friends. So while they slept-my mother actually had the nerve to break the child-labor law. She made us work. We had to wash dishes, make beds, learn to cook and all sorts of cruel things. I believe she laid awake at night thinking up mean things to do to us.
She always insisted upon us telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, even if it killed us- and it nearly did.
By the time we were teen-agers, she was much wiser, and our life became even more unbearable. None of this tooting the horn of a car for us to come running. She embarrassed us to no end by making our dates and friends come to the door to get us. If I spent the night with a girlfriend, can you imagine she checked on me to see if I were really there. I never had the chance to elope to Mexico. That is if I'd had a boyfriend to elope with. I forgot to mention, while my friends were dating at the mature age of 12 and 13, my old fashioned mother refused to let me date until the age of 15 and 16. Fifteen, that is, if you dated only to go to a school function. And that was maybe twice a year.
Through the years, things didn't improve a bit. We could not lie in bed, "sick" like our friends did, and miss school. If our friends had a toe ache, a hang nail or serious ailment, they could stay home from school. Our marks in school had to be up to par. Our friends' report cards had beautiful colors on them, black for passing, red for failing. My mother being as different as she was, would settle for nothing less than ugly black marks.
As the years rolled by, first one and then the other of us was put to shame. We were graduated from high school. With our mother behind us, talking, hitting and demanding respect, none of us was allowed the pleasure of being a drop-out.
My mother was a complete failure as a mother. Out of four children, a couple of us attained some higher education. None of us have ever been arrested, divorced or beaten his mate. Each of my brothers served his time in the service of this country. And whom do we have to blame for the terrible way we turned out? You're right, our mean mother. Look at the things we missed. We never got to march in a protest parade, nor to take part in a riot, burn draft cards, and a million and one other things that our friends did. She forced us to grow up into God-fearing, educated, honest adults.
Using this as a background, I am trying to raise my three children. I stand a little taller and I am filled with pride when my children call me mean. Because, you see, I thank God, He gave me the meanest mother in the whole world.
Written by
Bobbie Pingaro ©1967
This brings me little comfort as I know that it will likely not be until my own kids are giving me grandkids that they understand why I do what I do. So I guess I stand my ground for now and hope that someday my children will be as thankful as I am that I am their mother.
A few of the dramatic phrases used this week by my little diva;
"I already had a hard day and your making it worse!" because I wouldnt let her have a straw with her cup of water because I was cooking at the stove and didn't want her digging in the drawer under the countertop stove for one!
"You're doing it again!" (referring to making her day worse) because I wouldn't let her do something else in the kitchen...can't remember what!
"This is the worst day ever!" when her pouting didn't work to change my mind. Also she yelled that as she was stomping out of the house and slamming the door..... I was laughing :)
That was just one night!
She did say something cute this week though. After dinner she was helping me clean up the table and asked what our plan was the next night for dinner. I told her we had kinship. She asked why, I said because we wanna get together with our friends in Christ, and have fellowship with them. She then then said "did you know that were all Gods kids which would mean we're all like brothers and sisters in Gods eyes!?!" I replied "yes, I guess so" then I decided to be silly and see what she would say, so I said "does that mean your dad is my brother, so I married my brother!?!" Her response with a big grin; "yep, but it's ok your kids won't be sick or anything" LOL if that wasn't enough, when I started laughing she looked at me and said "Aren't I just the cutest?" LOL
Ok well gotta get going lots to do today!
Dee-ta-Dee
Adoption Day!
Monday
Being green and frugal, takes work!
So last summer we took FPU (financial peace university) by Dave Ramsey. We learned so much and are continually trying to apply what we learned, so that we can be debt free soon, and have financial peace for the first time! Oddly enough since learning and applying what we have learned, even though we can't scream "we're debt free!" quite yet, we are on our way, and there is peace in that. I have discovered that I like to spend money, and I'm not very good at saving money! Ok I didn't need the class to teach me that but, the class has taught me some tools to try to stop that!
Recently I have also been trying to make smarter choices not just financially, but, also in what we're eating, cleaning with, and use around the house. I do not buy into the Global warming climate change hype, but I do take into consideration that we were made by God to be caretakers of the earth and should be doing what we can. I believe that we should be using our natural resources and replenishing them hand in hand.
Being frugal and green don't necessarily come hand in hand! For instance, try to be green at the grocery store, try to stick to organic, or non processed foods. Although it is getting easier to find those things at most grocery stores, the price of such items, as compared to their genetically altered, processed, counterpart is enough to make someone on budget cringe! Although I have found that with some time (one of my hangups...i'm a convenience person!!!) and work you can stay within budget. For example, I have switched all of my families bread consumption to whole grain. This can get spendy. A way you can curb the expense: buy a couple bread pans, your choice ingredients, and voila! Much cheaper, and many times tastier than store bought.
Diapers = $$$$, but they don't have to! My kids have been blessed with extra sensitive skin, which means I can't cut corners and buy the cheaper brands, nope for us it's pampers or bust (and by bust I mean their skin...wide open with rashes!) So for Gustaf I spent around $100 and bought 10 all in one kushies cloth diapers. They were great on the budget (paid for themselves in about 4mos.) and I think they played a big part in his early training. He now only wears them at night, which saves me from buying night time diapers, and since he is otherwise fully trained, I don't have to deal with any #2's from him so it is easy for anyone, even those who hate the thought of washing poo from cloth diapers! With Carson I went back to pampers because I only had one sz diapers for Gus, and figured he would start fitting into them by about 6mos to 1yr. He still doesn't fit into them, because he's so tiny. So with the new baby on the way I went to a diaper party this weekend and bought about 10 more cloth diapers w/ accesories. So now Carson has diapers that fit him, and I have 2 diapers that fit newborn to 35# so I just gotta get a few more of those and I'll be set for Audrey too! When I run out of my current wipes supply I will be switching to cloth wipes as well. It will hopefully have paid for itself by the time Audrey is here, then from that point on i'm saving money!!
I also just bought some curtains for our living room. They are nice thick thermal curtains so they will save on energy costs as well as offering some privacy! I am really excited about this because I got them with free shipping and they are 1/2 the price of the ones I was looking at a week ago! yay for shopping around before buying!
So the lesson here is there is no room for convenience in being frugal and green at the same time! When i'm cleaning out a poopy diaper rather than throwing it in the garbage and filling up a landfill while emptying the kids college fund, I can remember that as Ramsey says "If you live like knowone else, later you can LIVE like knowone else!"
Well I have to be getting back to my duties around the house.
God Bless,
Dee~ta~Dee
Recently I have also been trying to make smarter choices not just financially, but, also in what we're eating, cleaning with, and use around the house. I do not buy into the Global warming climate change hype, but I do take into consideration that we were made by God to be caretakers of the earth and should be doing what we can. I believe that we should be using our natural resources and replenishing them hand in hand.
Being frugal and green don't necessarily come hand in hand! For instance, try to be green at the grocery store, try to stick to organic, or non processed foods. Although it is getting easier to find those things at most grocery stores, the price of such items, as compared to their genetically altered, processed, counterpart is enough to make someone on budget cringe! Although I have found that with some time (one of my hangups...i'm a convenience person!!!) and work you can stay within budget. For example, I have switched all of my families bread consumption to whole grain. This can get spendy. A way you can curb the expense: buy a couple bread pans, your choice ingredients, and voila! Much cheaper, and many times tastier than store bought.
Diapers = $$$$, but they don't have to! My kids have been blessed with extra sensitive skin, which means I can't cut corners and buy the cheaper brands, nope for us it's pampers or bust (and by bust I mean their skin...wide open with rashes!) So for Gustaf I spent around $100 and bought 10 all in one kushies cloth diapers. They were great on the budget (paid for themselves in about 4mos.) and I think they played a big part in his early training. He now only wears them at night, which saves me from buying night time diapers, and since he is otherwise fully trained, I don't have to deal with any #2's from him so it is easy for anyone, even those who hate the thought of washing poo from cloth diapers! With Carson I went back to pampers because I only had one sz diapers for Gus, and figured he would start fitting into them by about 6mos to 1yr. He still doesn't fit into them, because he's so tiny. So with the new baby on the way I went to a diaper party this weekend and bought about 10 more cloth diapers w/ accesories. So now Carson has diapers that fit him, and I have 2 diapers that fit newborn to 35# so I just gotta get a few more of those and I'll be set for Audrey too! When I run out of my current wipes supply I will be switching to cloth wipes as well. It will hopefully have paid for itself by the time Audrey is here, then from that point on i'm saving money!!
I also just bought some curtains for our living room. They are nice thick thermal curtains so they will save on energy costs as well as offering some privacy! I am really excited about this because I got them with free shipping and they are 1/2 the price of the ones I was looking at a week ago! yay for shopping around before buying!
So the lesson here is there is no room for convenience in being frugal and green at the same time! When i'm cleaning out a poopy diaper rather than throwing it in the garbage and filling up a landfill while emptying the kids college fund, I can remember that as Ramsey says "If you live like knowone else, later you can LIVE like knowone else!"
Well I have to be getting back to my duties around the house.
God Bless,
Dee~ta~Dee
Intro
So after watching Julie & Julia this past weekend I was inspired to write a blog! No, I will not be cooking my way through any cookbooks (that I know of) but I will be writing my way through at least a few things going on in my life now and in the future.
So it seems I should start with an introduction. I am Dee. I am one of the lucky ones to have found love early. My husband Buddy and I have been together since I was 16. Next month we will have been together 8yrs already (excluding a few bumps along the road early on). This coming August we will celebrate our 5yr wedding anniversary. My hubby is one of the few good men :) he works hard to provide for our ever growing family, and is a great dad and husband. Sorry ladies, he's taken!
Delilah our oldest turned 5 in Jan. I was a young mom, technically a "teen mom" when I found out I was expecting I was 3 days away from my h.s. graduation. I never felt like a "teen mom" because at the time I had already been living "on my own" aka with buddy for 6mos. I was working fulltime and had almost 2yrs of college under my belt thanks to PSEO. I had a very committed relationship, so that issue never arose either. Although I do not recommend this way of doing things, God was watching over us even if we didn't know it! We were married when Delilah was 7mos old. She saved us, from the time we found out she was coming everything changed, we began to grow up! Being we were young, we were very into the party scene. That slowly began to change as we prepared for our little princess. I shudder to think of the path our lives would have continued down, had we not recieved our unexpected blessing. She teaches me all the time, and she doesn't even know it. She was the perfect baby, sleeping 12-14hrs per night from the 2nds night home! She is also very talented. She loves to sing, dance, and entertain anyone who will give her the spotlight! She helps me understand the term "child like faith" on a regular basis. I could go on but i'm sure you'll hear plenty more about her in the future!
Our first son Gustaf, was a welcome blessing, and true to his personality he came in with a bang on July 4th! He will be 3 this summer! He has helped to keep his sister in check, she is a diva on her own, I can't imagine how much more exaggerated her "diva" would be if she didn't have some siblings! He has kept us on our toes from day one! He was nicknamed "fussy gussy" early on because he was only happy if he was being fed, rocked, or bounced 24/7! Up until about 8mos old. He has been walking solo since 10mos old, and he is busy! He reminds me of curious george because if he is not constantly entertained, he will find his own entertainment, which usually results in alot of cleanup for me! He is very independent and potty trained himself 2mos before his 2nd birthday. As with his big sister I could go on but I'm sure you'll hear more later! (Like how while I was typing this he shoved a silicone ear bud cover up his nose and I had to tweeze it out!)
Our second son, Carson turned 1 this March. His personality is budding away, and we are learning more about him each day. His newest attribute is screaming bloody murder while i'm in the kitchen, until or unless he has food in front of him! Carson is a very content lil guy otherwise. He is always smiling, even when he is emptying his night table, or pulling down all the cd's off the shelf 100x a day! He has had more than his fair share of hospital stays already. When he was 7 mos old he was admitted for almost 2 weeks so that they could get to the bottom of his weight loss issues. He had steadily gained until 2 months old then it slowed, and then he began loosing around 6 mos! After many many tests and procedures they finally found that he had GERD. A month or so later I found out I was expecting again and decided to quit nursing and then we had to find a formula that would not upset his tummy. Just before his birthday he got a nasty cold that resulted in bilateral ear infection, bronchialitis, pneumonia, rsv, and conjunctivitis! Which wiped him out so that he only wanted to sleep and wouldn't eat, which meant an overnight at the hospital to get IV fluids and oxygen. He bounced back quickly only to begin having GERD issues again once we took him off the formula and put him on cow's milk. After trying several dif. milks we have found Almond Milk is best. Now we are just trying to get enough fat and protein in him to sustain his already low weight and hopefully get him gaining. He is very close to walking, but prefers to army crawl instead.
Audrey, our fourth and likely final (biological) child is due July 27. I am so thankful to be getting another little princess, as I was very worried about what 3 boys in 3 years would bring to the table! Delilah is also very thrilled to be getting a roommate as her brothers share a room, so she is the only one at this time to be sleeping solo!
We moved into our new home July 31 last year, and love it! Our old home was disasterous, and we were forced out of it by toxic black mold in March last year. God was watching over us and blessed us more than we could have ever imagined with a house to call our own, that was not only in great shape, but cut our expenses more than 50% even though the house is bigger, newer, nicer! What an awesome God we have!
Our drop in expenses with the move allowed me, for the first time, to be a SAHM! I couldn't imagine having to leave my babies to work, although i'm so busy I doubt I would have time for another job! I started leading girl scouts almost 2 years ago now. Last year I started asst. coaching cheerleading alongside my sister the head coach. I go to ECFE with the boys while Delilah is in school. I help when and where I can with church activities. Another mom and I just began working with a few of the kids to start a kids worship team. I love to sing and though I have rehearsed with the worship team, I have not yet made it on stage, other than special occasions. We go to a weekly kinship with some of our closest friends. I have recently been contemplating getting active in the PTSO even though our children will not be enrolled in public school. I am starting to embrace this domesticated lifestyle and I am learning to garden! I had a small veggie garden last year at my husbands grandmothers, and I am excited to have both a veggie and flower garden at the new house this year! This blog will be about my life as a SAHM. Which includes all of the above as well as some other stuff I'm learning about life! I am learning to be more frugal. I am also learning to be a better Christian. I am new at both of those areas and I'm bound to make mistakes along the way. I have been blessed with a wonderful group of friends to help me along the way.
Well that about sums it up! (i'm not the best at summarizing!) Have a blessed day!
Dee~ta~Dee
So it seems I should start with an introduction. I am Dee. I am one of the lucky ones to have found love early. My husband Buddy and I have been together since I was 16. Next month we will have been together 8yrs already (excluding a few bumps along the road early on). This coming August we will celebrate our 5yr wedding anniversary. My hubby is one of the few good men :) he works hard to provide for our ever growing family, and is a great dad and husband. Sorry ladies, he's taken!
Delilah our oldest turned 5 in Jan. I was a young mom, technically a "teen mom" when I found out I was expecting I was 3 days away from my h.s. graduation. I never felt like a "teen mom" because at the time I had already been living "on my own" aka with buddy for 6mos. I was working fulltime and had almost 2yrs of college under my belt thanks to PSEO. I had a very committed relationship, so that issue never arose either. Although I do not recommend this way of doing things, God was watching over us even if we didn't know it! We were married when Delilah was 7mos old. She saved us, from the time we found out she was coming everything changed, we began to grow up! Being we were young, we were very into the party scene. That slowly began to change as we prepared for our little princess. I shudder to think of the path our lives would have continued down, had we not recieved our unexpected blessing. She teaches me all the time, and she doesn't even know it. She was the perfect baby, sleeping 12-14hrs per night from the 2nds night home! She is also very talented. She loves to sing, dance, and entertain anyone who will give her the spotlight! She helps me understand the term "child like faith" on a regular basis. I could go on but i'm sure you'll hear plenty more about her in the future!
Our first son Gustaf, was a welcome blessing, and true to his personality he came in with a bang on July 4th! He will be 3 this summer! He has helped to keep his sister in check, she is a diva on her own, I can't imagine how much more exaggerated her "diva" would be if she didn't have some siblings! He has kept us on our toes from day one! He was nicknamed "fussy gussy" early on because he was only happy if he was being fed, rocked, or bounced 24/7! Up until about 8mos old. He has been walking solo since 10mos old, and he is busy! He reminds me of curious george because if he is not constantly entertained, he will find his own entertainment, which usually results in alot of cleanup for me! He is very independent and potty trained himself 2mos before his 2nd birthday. As with his big sister I could go on but I'm sure you'll hear more later! (Like how while I was typing this he shoved a silicone ear bud cover up his nose and I had to tweeze it out!)
Our second son, Carson turned 1 this March. His personality is budding away, and we are learning more about him each day. His newest attribute is screaming bloody murder while i'm in the kitchen, until or unless he has food in front of him! Carson is a very content lil guy otherwise. He is always smiling, even when he is emptying his night table, or pulling down all the cd's off the shelf 100x a day! He has had more than his fair share of hospital stays already. When he was 7 mos old he was admitted for almost 2 weeks so that they could get to the bottom of his weight loss issues. He had steadily gained until 2 months old then it slowed, and then he began loosing around 6 mos! After many many tests and procedures they finally found that he had GERD. A month or so later I found out I was expecting again and decided to quit nursing and then we had to find a formula that would not upset his tummy. Just before his birthday he got a nasty cold that resulted in bilateral ear infection, bronchialitis, pneumonia, rsv, and conjunctivitis! Which wiped him out so that he only wanted to sleep and wouldn't eat, which meant an overnight at the hospital to get IV fluids and oxygen. He bounced back quickly only to begin having GERD issues again once we took him off the formula and put him on cow's milk. After trying several dif. milks we have found Almond Milk is best. Now we are just trying to get enough fat and protein in him to sustain his already low weight and hopefully get him gaining. He is very close to walking, but prefers to army crawl instead.
Audrey, our fourth and likely final (biological) child is due July 27. I am so thankful to be getting another little princess, as I was very worried about what 3 boys in 3 years would bring to the table! Delilah is also very thrilled to be getting a roommate as her brothers share a room, so she is the only one at this time to be sleeping solo!
We moved into our new home July 31 last year, and love it! Our old home was disasterous, and we were forced out of it by toxic black mold in March last year. God was watching over us and blessed us more than we could have ever imagined with a house to call our own, that was not only in great shape, but cut our expenses more than 50% even though the house is bigger, newer, nicer! What an awesome God we have!
Our drop in expenses with the move allowed me, for the first time, to be a SAHM! I couldn't imagine having to leave my babies to work, although i'm so busy I doubt I would have time for another job! I started leading girl scouts almost 2 years ago now. Last year I started asst. coaching cheerleading alongside my sister the head coach. I go to ECFE with the boys while Delilah is in school. I help when and where I can with church activities. Another mom and I just began working with a few of the kids to start a kids worship team. I love to sing and though I have rehearsed with the worship team, I have not yet made it on stage, other than special occasions. We go to a weekly kinship with some of our closest friends. I have recently been contemplating getting active in the PTSO even though our children will not be enrolled in public school. I am starting to embrace this domesticated lifestyle and I am learning to garden! I had a small veggie garden last year at my husbands grandmothers, and I am excited to have both a veggie and flower garden at the new house this year! This blog will be about my life as a SAHM. Which includes all of the above as well as some other stuff I'm learning about life! I am learning to be more frugal. I am also learning to be a better Christian. I am new at both of those areas and I'm bound to make mistakes along the way. I have been blessed with a wonderful group of friends to help me along the way.
Well that about sums it up! (i'm not the best at summarizing!) Have a blessed day!
Dee~ta~Dee
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)