Inspiration

I have had a lot of people who have influenced me in my life, but when I began thinking of those who have helped me along the way, one person stands out from the crowd. Social work is considered a "helper" profession, and though she was not a social worker herself, she was a helper in every sense of the word. 

I first met Penny Starkovich when she brought her student run professional DJ business to Grand Portage where I was living to host a dance for the youth. I attended that dance and was mesmerized by this crazy lady who was always smiling and laughing. You could see her passion and her love for each of the students she had brought with to DJ and for those of us she had just met. It just so happened that only a few weeks later, I would be moving to Silver Bay and I would be a student at the school she worked out of as the Kids Plus Coordinator. Penny made a point of introducing me and my sister to some students our age so that when we moved we would have a connection in the new school when we got there. She told us to make sure we come see her as soon as possible. I had no idea then how much this crazy beautiful woman would come to mean to me. 

My youth was very rough for me. I now know that a big part of my struggle was the fact that I slipped through the radar and was never assessed, much less diagnosed with ADHD. I was nearly 30 before that came to light. I also struggled with my home life during those years as well. My moms boyfriend who I knew as a father figure since I was 2, passed away when I was 9 from lung cancer. This left my mom working around the clock and we had to move a few times before we landed in Silver Bay, the same place my mother had graduated from 25 years prior. I used drugs and alcohol to cope and I ran away a few times. I was on a pretty destructive path, but Penny was there for me. She was the first person I ever knew that held me accountable. In the kindest way possible, she called me out when needed, and would fight for and with me for anything I needed. She was one of the only people I felt safe sharing my struggles with. She encouraged me to keep pushing through even when I could have given up. I don't know that I would have finished high school if it wasn't for her encouragement. She had faith in me even when I didn't have it in myself. 

Heading into my senior year Penny had decided that I should replace her when she retired. I worked side by side with her and tried to learn all the ins and outs of what she did as the kids plus coordinator. Penny was not feeling well much of the time and was more forgetful than normal. She began missing a lot of work. Then one day she sat me down and told me that she had been diagnosed with a brain tumor and it was quite advanced and aggressive. She didn't have long left and she wasn't able to continue training me and I hadn't learned enough in the few short weeks that we had together to be able to even come close to filling her shoes.

I graduated in June and by that time Penny had deteriorated quite a bit. She came to my graduation party, but only the tail end in an attempt to avoid a crowd and exposure when her immune system had vacated with the chemo. A few days before my graduation I learned that I was expecting my first child. Penny was one of the only people I felt like I had let down, but when I told her the news, her face brightened and she gave me the biggest grin and said "You're gonna be great! I'm so proud of you!" Once again, her faith in me surpassed my understanding. When I was feeling like a failure, she was seeing my true colors and reminding me to look for them. 

My daughter was born the following January. Penny only left her home to go to the doctor by this point, and even that had slowed down as there was nothing more they could do for her. Pain meds and oxygen combined with the neurological issues left behind by the surgery to remove the tumor and the toll chemo had taken would have made it hard for her to go anywhere by this time. I was anxious to bring my daughter to see her and so on the way home from the hospital, we had what would be our last visit with Penny. She passed away just 2 weeks later. The picture of her holding my daughter and the doll she gave her became two of my most prized possessions. We named the doll "Penny" and my daughter still sleeps with it 11 years later. 

At Penny's funeral we played one of her favorite songs. She was a big Cyndi Lauper fan, and it was so fitting as she was quirky just like her. True Colors captures Penny's approach to life so perfectly and I often find myself listening to it on repeat when I am doing homework or needing to feel her love. 

True Colors by Cyndi Lauper 

You with the sad eyes

Don't be discouraged

Oh I realize

Its hard to take courage

In a world full of people

You can lose sight of it all

And the darkness inside you

Can make you feel so small

But I see your true colors

Shining through

I see your true colors

And that's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors

True colors are beautiful

Like a rainbow

Show me a smile then

Don't be unhappy, can't remember

When I last saw you laughing

If this world makes you crazy

And you've taken all you can bear

You call me up

Because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors

Shining through

I see your true colors

And that's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors

True colors are beautiful

Like a rainbow

If this world makes you crazy

And you've taken all you can bear

You call me up

Because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors

Shining through

I see your true colors

And that's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors

True colors

True colors

Shining through

I see your true colors

And that's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors

True colors are beautiful

Like a rainbow

As I prepare for a career as a social worker, I feel that Penny set the stage for me by leading by example and looking for the True Colors of everyone she met and then empowering them to see it for themselves.

***Since Penny is no longer with us, I spoke to her daughter Krista and received permission to post both her name and this picture of her meeting my daughter.

UW-Superior Social Work Program

This week I met with my advisor and we discussed what my remaining semesters will look like. Assuming I am accepted into the program, that is. I have my admissions interview on Wednesday and though there's obviously some nerves associated with it, I am feeling confident that I will stand out as a excellent candidate for enrollment. The hardest part will be the month long wait on the decision while they complete the other interviews. I was not able to get in for an interview during the first round of admissions last month because I underestimated how quickly the slots would fill and by the time I went to sign up, they were all filled! I was a little worried about what registration will look like given I won't know for a month after registration opens, whether or not I will be accepted into the Cohorts. She assured me that I can register for the classes under the assumption that I'll be accepted and revisit it if needed in the case that I am not accepted. The very idea of this makes me panic a bit, so I'm just going to pretend that's not an option and hope that I am never shown otherwise. 

What will I be taking this fall? Drumroll, please...
In my Social Work Cohorts I will (tentatively) be taking the following courses for Fall 2016:
(15 credits)

• SO-W 340: Methods of Practice I: Interpersonal Skills (Tuesdays at 9am) 3 credits @UWS
• SO-W 341: Methods of Practice II: Individual Case Work (Tuesdays at 3pm) 3 credits @UWS
• SO-W 344: Human Behavior in Social Environment I (Tuesdays at 1pm) 3 credits @UWS
• SOCI  411: Bodies: A Sociology of the Flesh (Mon/Wed at 4pm) 3 credits @UWS
• MATH 2210: General Statistics (Online) 3 credits @LSC

All of the above courses, with the exclusion of the sociology course are required for my Social Work Major. The sociology course is for my Sociology Minor. You will notice that all of my classes except MATH 2210 are at UWS. This is because none of the classes offered at UWS to satisfy this portion of my degree requirements work with my schedule as I would either need to be on campus 3 to 4 days a week, or I would need to take it online during the summer. Neither of those are sacrifices I am willing to make so long as there is an alternative available. 

My (tentative) schedule for Spring 2017: 

(15 credits)

• SO-W 345: Human Behavior in Social Environment II (TBD) 3 credits @UWS
• SO-W 365: Methods of Practice III: Family Group Work (TBD) 3 credits @UWS
• SO-W 366: Methods of Practice IV: Agency/Comm./Global Practice (TBD) 3 credits @UWS
• SO-W 325: The Ecology of Social Welfare Policy Making (TBD) 3 credits @UWS
• SO-W 380: Social Work Research Methods (TBD) 3 credits @UWS
• SO-W 420: Prep for Field Seminar I (TBD) 0 credit @UWS

Every one of the courses in the above section are degree requirements and I will no longer be taking any courses outside of UWS by this semester and the last class listed is the prep class for the internship that I will be doing over the summer. 

My (tentative) schedule for SUMMER 2017: 

(12 credits)

• SO-W 422: Social Work Field Instruction I (TBD) 5 credits @UWS
• SO-W 423: Social Work Field Seminar I (TBD) 1 credit @UWS
• SO-W 427: Social Work Field Instruction II (TBD) 5 credits @UWS
• SO-W 428: Social Work Field Seminar II (TBD) 1 credit @UWS

I will need to complete a 450 hour internship to satisfy the above courses. And then for my final semester as an undergraduate student...

My (tentative) schedule for Fall 2017: 

(9 credits)

• SO-W 326: Social Welfare Policy Practice (TBD) 3 credits @UWS
• SO-W 490: Research Projects (TBD) 3 credits @UWS
• SOCI: One more course to fulfill my minor (TBD) 3 credits @UWS

Because I already have my Associate of Arts degree, I was able to enter this program as a junior so upon completion of my current semester, I will have 51 credits left to complete. My goal is to complete all of these courses while achieving honors so that I have advanced standing in a Masters in Social Work program. At this time I find Criminal Justice Social Work to be the most appealing, and with my BSW I will be qualified to work in positions like Probation Agent, Chemical Dependency Counseling, and as a legal aid to name a few. One of the schools I am looking at for a MSW program is USC - University of Southern California. 

https://msw.usc.edu/

Why Social Work?

     This is quite the loaded question. I could easily begin listing all of the (widely varied) opportunities available to me as a Licensed Social Worker, but they're really not why I have chosen this path. I could tell you all about my daughter (which if you're interested you can look in my archive for an essay I wrote about her and some of our experience) who we adopted through kinship foster care, and how that experience shaped me and pointed me towards this path, but again, that is not my why either. Instead I will tell you the story of a girl who from a young age has struggled with the injustices she perceived and the system that supports them. That girl is me, and I think you will see from these examples that it is a natural fit for me.

     My earliest memory of an injustice that got me all worked up was when I was in 3rd grade. My teacher that year was fired and I was mad. She was an amazing teacher and NOTHING in my eight year old perspective could have justified her being fired. I had her on a pedestal and no one could tell me any different, though I am not sure they dared try. I wrote a letter to the editor of my local newspaper and it was published. I hope to one day find a copy to review. Recently I looked up the teacher and case. Apparently the case went on for more than a decade and the teacher eventually lost. My loyalty to her is still deeply ingrained as while reading the history of the case and the various motions and appeals and their subsequent denials, I was bothered by the courts lack of ability to understand her and her unique situation as I remember it. At the same time I am hesitant to take a stand because I recognize my bias and my limited perspective based on the memories I compiled more than twenty years ago from my eight year old point of view. I seem to recall that she was in the midst of a pretty nasty divorce and battle with an abusive husband. Her reason for dismissal was being frequently tardy. The eight year old me didn't understand how this could have been such a big deal that it overshadowed how great she was at her job. Given the circumstances I felt the district could have had some grace for her situation. Though when I looked up the case, it seems that they did. On multiple occasions the district chose to postpone her dismissal in exchange for her agreement to be on time in the future and signed documents stating that if she failed to comply, she would willingly resign. She was again tardy, and at least one additional time they gave her another chance. Ultimately she was again tardy, but refused to willingly resign. The districts willingness to give her more chances indicates that they did in fact value her and her role in the school. The district was clearly in the right, right? Wrong...maybe? According to the documents they did a lot of things backwards in how they handled the dismissal. They violated her contract, public meeting laws, and even her request for the meetings to remain public and instead held them behind closed doors. Why the secrecy? This sends off some red flags for me, and throws the whole thing into questionable territory. As a divorced Native American, woman, was she being discriminated against? Was her husband wielding his power and influence to ruin her? Why the secrecy? Why did she fight it for so long if it was as cut and dried as it is presented? I will probably never know the truth about what transpired all those years ago, but I will always remember choosing to stand up when I felt it was wrong and trying with all my eight year old might to advocate for my teacher and fellow students.

     Throughout my youth I often contemplated being a journalist because I enjoy digging into topics and exposing the truth. I have always loved animals and wanted to be a Veterinarian, but I'm terrible at math, so I decided after a short time at Vet Tech school, it wasn't for me. Being a critical thinker comes naturally to me and as a result I have always asked a lot of questions and that has allowed me to become at least a little bit knowledgeable about a lot of things. My friends and even casual acquaintances have always felt comfortable coming to me for information. I don't really know why, as a lot of the questions aren't specific to my life experiences. I've never needed to call a domestic abuse shelter, but several times I've been asked how it works. I've never needed to file an OFP or an HRO, but several times people have reached out to me for understanding. I've never been investigated by CPS, but several times others have sought my advice when they find themselves under the microscope.  It is hard for me to understand why people don't just call and ask the places that provide these services the questions. Most of my knowledge has come from watching others go through the process or reading about it. The information is no more available to me than to anyone else, so I don't really understand why people don't just know these things or know how to find the answers on their own. I guess I have always been resourceful, even if I wasn't conscious of it and I somehow project that.

     I have always been a very empathetic person. I try to view alternate perspectives whenever I can. I find it's the best way to figure out the root of the problem. This drives my husband crazy as he tends to take things at face value and that's the end of it. I crave that understanding of what makes people tick so that I can understand why they've made the choices they have. I guess you can say I've always had a person first approach to things. If you show me an addict, I am going to look for what caused the hole they are turning to drugs to fill. It is just the way I am. I don't believe in treating symptoms, I want to get to the problem and treat that! I find that is much easier to do with emotions and narratives than with physical problems.

     All of these things, and more (I could keep going, and going here) are the parts of me that together have attracted me to social work. In order to finish my AA degree I needed a few elective credits and it seemed each time I was searching for an elective, those in the field of sociology were the ones I was most attracted to. I love sociology, but because I am a people person, and a bit of a fixer, a career in research wouldn't really be fulfilling to me. Social work though, allows me to have broad interests and focus areas, while working with people. A win-win. A field where I will be able to use all of these natural abilities and further develop them and gain new skills to advocate for people and to stand up for injustice. I love that as a social worker I can have an impact in so many different levels of the "system". I can work towards changing policy or organize an awareness or prevention campaign, or I can work with individuals and help them find their pain source and a path to healing it that doesn't cause more pain. It may be cliche' but I want to BE the change, or at least a part of it. I want my kids to grow up in a better world and I want them to see that change is possible.
   

My First Semester as a Social Work Major.

     This semester I'm taking a full course load. Though none of my courses are program courses, as I don't interview for admission into that until later this month. They all count towards my degree though and are prerequisites to the Social Work Program. I am taking a Business & Professional Writing course (online), which I am really enjoying as it comes naturally to me. It is also helping me to fine tune my approach to professional communication which will be very important in the future when coordinating resources and care for my clients. I am taking an Intro to Sociology course, though not through UWS, as the options for that course at UWS did not fit for me life so I am taking that through LSC (online), which is where I just transferred out of after completing my AA degree. I need this course to satisfy my Sociology Minor. It seems kind of silly to me because I've already taken 14 of the required 21 credits to qualify for a minor, but none were an intro course, so I have to do this one. I'm really okay with it though as I LOVE sociology and it helps to deepen my understanding of people and improves my cultural competency. I am taking a course called Law and Human Behavior (online) as well. This course has been super intense! There's a lot of reading each week and writing. I am learning a lot though and I feel i'm getting a better understanding of the history of law and why it works the way it does. First Nations Studies is a social work course I am taking, though I didn't have to be in the cohorts to take it. I am gaining a deeper understanding of tribal culture, structure, and history. I do have some familiarity with First Nations (online) as I lived on a reservation for a couple years, and have many friends and family who are band members. This class is exposing me to a lot of things that I didn't know though so I am really thankful that I am taking it! Finally, for my one and only class on campus this semester, I am taking Intro to Social Work. This class is not in the cohorts but it is a requirement to get into it. I love this class, because it focuses on a lot of discussion and features case studies and current events. It is really shaping my perspectives further, and even challenging them, which is an important part of being a social worker. I have found the material covered to both be easy, and affirming in that I have a lot more life experience than my classmates to pull from, having been a foster and later adoptive parent for nearly a decade now. It is affirming in the sense that it has built my confidence in my chosen degree and future career path. 

     In my Intro to Social Work course, I have learned a lot about the importance of ethics and values in social work. This information will continue to be elaborated on and developed as I proceed through the cohorts and will factor into my daily home and work life for as long as I bear the title "Social Worker". I feel appropriately burdened with my title as a Social Work Student as I have learned through this course how important it is to keep this perspective and the accompanying ethics in practice as I move forward and work with clients. I expect a lot of personal development to come out of the months and years ahead and if what I've learned about myself thus far is any indicator, I have a long way to go and it will be a lifelong process of self-reflection and accountability to work through any of my personal bias that may arise and create at least the possibility of a barrier between my ability and my willingness to do the right ethical thing for the clients best interest. Humility will be my strongest asset. 

Social Work Blogs I'm following...

    I have spent some time exploring various social work blogs lately. I must admit that given the confidential nature of social work, I didn't expect there to be many blogs in existence. Much to my surprise I have found that there is no shortage for me to follow and learn from as a social work student!  Here's a few of my favorites so far: 

http://creativesocialworker.tumblr.com/
     

     As a special needs parent, I have been very involved with therapy the last five years. We've tried lots of different types and approaches, so social work aside, I would probably be attracted to this sort of blog purely for my own education as a parent and advocate. Since I aspire to obtain my Masters Degree in Social Work immediately after I complete my BSW (for those of you not aware an MSW would qualify me to be a clinical social worker/therapist) this blog also has the added bonus of insight I can carry with me throughout my education and career.

     The blog description for "Creative Social Worker" caught my attention in the search results page. Once I began exploring the page itself, I got lost in the wealth of knowledge for awhile. Because I have a daughter that has experienced trauma, I also found some of the tools and therapy ideas to be very helpful and I may implement and/or suggest them to my daughters therapist.  I also liked that the blogger interacts with her readers in Q & A segments and an interactive comment section.

http://www.notesfromanaspiringhumanitarian.com/
 

     I was first attracted to the title as I feel that I am very much a humanitarian.This blog is much more than just a blog, it's a movement in itself. It's easy to get lost in this site as well as there is just so much information. Thankfully it is also very easy to navigate. This site will be very useful to me as it is full of resources that I will be likely to use as an aspiring social worker. The perspectives and insight offered here are excellent platforms for me to continue in my own aspirations to be a humanitarian and a social worker. The two really go hand in hand quite nicely! 

http://www.socialworkblog.org/ 

     I chose this blog because it is a product of the National Association of Social Workers (NASW) which I will be joining upon completion of my degree, and my social work education is largely centered around this organization. This blog has a lot of current events that are presented through a social work lens. This will be useful in remaining up to date and aware of things that are happening in the world outside of my home and/or work community. 

     As mentioned above, each of the selected blogs will be useful for me in various ways as I continue my education and later pursue a career in social work. By actively seeking information from multiple sources I will improve my cultural competency and have my beliefs challenged in a way that encourages me to grow as an individual and as a social worker. 

Oops I...did it again!

At this point it is well established that I am terrible at the upkeep of this blog. The only reason I am here today is because I was assigned to develop a professional blog in my Business Writing course and I thought I may as well use the one I have rather than make a brand new one. Maybe I'll actually stick with it this time? I doubt it, because school keeps me very busy and the kids fill in any and every possible gap. Sleep? That's a luxury I seldom have time to enjoy these days...
Just to get up to speed, here's what's up since my last post:
I graduated from LSC with my AA degree in December (though commencement is not until this May and you better believe this gal is walking and wearing her honors cords proudly!) I decided in early spring 2015 that I wanted to continue beyond my AA and seek a Bachelors of Science in Social Work so I transferred to UW-Superior. This week is midterms and next week is spring break. Oh how I'm looking forward to JUST being a wife/mom/auntie/friend for a week! I interview on March 30 for the official acceptance into the Social Work cohorts to begin in Fall 2016. If all goes as planned (ha!) I will graduate in December of 2017 with my BSW as a LSW!  I am currently looking into masters programs with advance standing. The plant Buddy has worked at for almost 5 years now is scheduled to idle indefinitely this fall. The company tells him that they will find a position but that has not panned out just yet, so things could get rocky for a bit and that would certainly derail my plans to continue into a masters program. We shall see. Kids are great. Deja finally got an IEP and Gus is in the process of getting one as well for his ADHD and the learning disorder in written expression that was detected during his formal ADHD evaluations. Audrey is in Kindergarten and suffers from youngest child syndrome like no bodies business. That girl can wrap you around her finger so fast you won't know what hit you. All with a smile. Unless she doesn't get her way, then watch out! Delilah...oh Delilah. She is 11 now. And much of the time I wonder if I'm the worst parent in the world to have raised such a disrespectful, bullheaded, mean, and downright nasty child. The rest of the time I am amazed at the beautiful, kind, courteous, mature, and pleasant young woman I raised. Really though, she is a great kid. When she's not awful. Yay for preteens and their raging hormones! She has about 3 more inches to grow before she will pass up little ol' me. She is thrilled by this.

I will be posting a few postings in the next few days to satisfy the assignment requirements. My intention is that I will be able to bring this blog with me as I transition into a career as a social worker. I will continue to share bits and pieces of my life and family, but social work will likely become my main focus as I will be parting ways with my beloved SAHM title in exchange for some acronyms following my name.

See you on the other side!